After completing teachers' college in 2013, I spent 8 months finding my first teaching placement in Lloydminster, Alberta, where I covered the first few months of a Maternity Leave before summer. After that, I found teaching jobs in Northern Ontario, Northern Quebec, and then in Southwestern Ontario. For around six years, I pursued additional qualifications in writing, math, reading, special education, and French. Pushing myself to be the best teacher I could be, which led to my downfall.
In putting my all into teaching, I became isolated. Yes, I had family, friends, and fellow teachers, but I went to work 10–16 hours a day, teaching, preparing, marking, and attending to the multitude of tasks required to teach; there was no time to invest in being with other people. Too busy to go out, too distracted to be in the moment, and so consumed by to-do lists to even interact on a deeper level with co-teachers.
As I was busy, I was too busy to see the damage I was doing to my sense of loneliness—no time to feel, marking to be done.
Near the end of my teaching career, my mistakes began to accumulate. The warning signs of burnout were burning brightly. Yet, no one, from the administration, co-teachers, family, or friends, bothered to point them out. They were much more interested in my mistakes, which kept piling up. There are attempts to help, but we are less helpful and more piling on the problems. Difficulty with classroom management? Take this class in Toronto over the weekend, on your dime. Need help with a student? Here is a letter of reprimand for failing to address a problematic student effectively; this student will remain in your file. When I started to admit I needed help, help came in the form of a baseball bat to the head and a knife in my back. The administration was more interested in piling on criticism as "help." Until, in the end, there was no other choice but to leave.
Ultimately, the isolation, loneliness, and lack of support led me to leave the teaching profession. Ultimately, I embarked on a path as a psychotherapist, intending to help other teachers one day. In the hope of providing them with someone who will be there for them, help alleviate the loneliness of being a teacher, and support them in a way that I wish I had been supported.
By Andre Stam, RP, CCC, OCT, is a psychotherapist who specializes in sleep, teacher support, burnout, anxiety, and depression. He has training in CBT. CBT-I, DBT, SE, and Narrative therapy.
